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News and professional editorials

September 2005

Sick Star's Fading Away

by Robbie Collin

Who's that girl? Would you believe it's Madonna, looking frail and gaunt as she recovers from her riding accident.

The fragile Queen of Pop had to be helped from her car as she arrived for a Kabbalah meeting in London yesterday.

Onlookers were shocked by her appearance as Madonna, 47, arrived at the sect's UK HQ in Stratford Place.

Thin

One said: "She looked so thin and listless -- like an old woman."

Madonna cracked three ribs, broke a collarbone and fractured her hand falling off a horse last month. Doctors ordered her to rest but last week she shot an ad with Iggy Pop.

Sadly, it doesn't look like Iggy's Lust For Life has rubbed off on Madge.

September 12, 2005

Megastar Madonna literally stole the show at the premiere of husband Guy Ritchie's film, Revolver. Hundreds of fans lined up around the downtown Toronto Roy Thompson Hall hoping to catch a glimpse of the material girl and they were not disappointed.

.... The night was filled with celebration, but the mood turned somber as Madonna discussed the anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks in New York City and Hurricane Katrina.

"We have had another natural disaster that it's kind of making that look like nothing in comparison. Well not nothing, but it's worse in a lot of ways," Madonna says.

» From Contact Music:

Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber reckons pop legend Madonna is too old to resurrect her role as Eva Peron in the musical 'Evita'.

Madonna played the role in a 1996 Hollywood adaptation of the stage musical and rumours had been circulating linking her with the part in Webber's new West End version.

But Webber claims the star looks to old to take the part and he wants somebody half her age to take the role.

He said: "She's not right for the part. We are looking for people in their twenties for goodness sake."

Madonna is still recovering from a number of injuries, including broken ribs, after falling from a horse on her birthday.

» See Also:

» Madonna Too Old To Play Evita -Virgin.net

» Madonna deemed too old for new stage version of Evita - Monsters and Critics

» Female First

September 19, 2005

» From Contact Music:

SIR PAUL McCARTNEY can't stand the music of MADONNA and ROBBIE WILLIAMS, despite respecting the artists as nice people.

The former BEATLE shared the stage with the MATERIAL GIRL and ex-TAKE THAT hunk at the London Live 8 earlier this year (02JUL05).

After Williams' song ANGELS was named Best Song of the past 25 years at February's (05) Brit Awards, McCartney says, "I wasn't that convinced by Angels winning the best song of the last 25 years.

"I think for an ex-boy group person, he's done well. He makes pretty good records for his audience. But I'm not a Robbie fan."

Despite admitting he has met Madonna several times, McCartney's is far from enamoured with her music, saying, "I've met her and she's a pretty cool person, but her records have never really turned me on."

» See Also:

» McCartney slams Robbie and Madonna - Newindpress, India, Sept. 20, 2005

September 25, 2005

» Madonna Rejected From Magazine Cover for Simpson?

Pop icon Madonna has reportedly been ousted from a magazine cover by Ashlee Simpson.

The singer is preparing to embark on a press tour for her upcoming album 'Confessions on a Dancefloor', and sources say she was supposed to pose on the cover of Blender magazine's December issue.

But publishing bosses have now dropped her in favor of Simpson.

A source says, "Madonna was fuming. She never wanted to do Blender in the first place; she wanted to do Rolling Stone. And then this put her over the edge."

While bosses at the publication have refused to comment, Madonna's representative says, "She's too busy healing from her (horse-riding) accident.

"I was talking to several publications, including Blender. Trust me; you'll see plenty of Madonna in the weeks to come."

» See Also:

» Strange Season Falls for Madonna - Sify.com

» Madonna Ousted from Mag Cover by Ashlee Simpson - Softpedia

» Madonna Rejected From Magazine Cover for Ashlee Simpson? - Contact Music.com UK

» Madonna dropped for Ashlee Simpson? - Digital Spy, Sept 24, 2005

From The Bosh, excerpts:

September 21, 2005

Filmmaker David LaChapelle and Pop Diva Madonna won't be teaming up on the video for her single "Hung Up." The pair confirmed to us yesterday that "artistic differences" AKA Diva antics killed the collaboration.

According to NY daily news, LaChapelle "wanted to approach the video in a documentary style, like he did in 'Rize,' Madonna didn't see it the same way." "Madonna had to control every little thing," said one spy. "She wanted to be shot so she looked very young."

» See Also:

» Madonna dumps video director - Washington Times, Sept. 23, 2005

September 21, 2005

» Madonna and Guy Ritchie booed - Digital Spy, UK

Madonna and Guy Ritchie were booed for being antisocial at the premiere of Revolver.

The pair turned up to the Leicester Square event but seemed to want little to do with the 2,000-strong crowd who had hoped to shake hands and have autographs signed. Meanwhile, the film's star Jason Stratham spent nearly an hour talking to fans, reports BBC News.

Revolver, released this weekend, sees Stratham play a criminal who enters into a feud with crime boss Ray Liotta. Unfortunately, it has left critics struggling to find anything positive to say about it.

"The critics have been harsh all the way through my career but it doesn't affect me," stated Ritchie at the premiere.

» See Also:

» MADONNA and Guy Ritchie were booed at the premiere of Ritchie's Film - Mirror.co.uk, UK - Sep 21, 2005

» Guy Ritchie & Madonna Booed At Revolver Premiere - FemaleFirst.co.uk, UK

» Crowd boos Madonna, Guy Ritchie - Webindia123

» Fans Boo Madonna, Husband At Movie Premiere - WPBF Channel.com

» Madonna and Ritchie Booed at 'Revolver' Premiere - WXXA, NY

» Madonna, Guy Ritchie booed at London film premiere - NewKerala.com, India

» Guy Ritchie and Madonna shun fans at 'Revolver' premiere - Hollywood News, UK

» Fans boo Madonna and husband after snub - Kansas.com, KS

» Boos problem for Madonna - Virgin.net, UK

» Madonna and Ritchie booed at premiere - RTE Interactive, Ireland

From Sky Showbiz:

September 21, 2005

Madonna must be cursing the sling she's been forced to don since tumbling off her horse.

It's left her with little option on what to wear - opening the door for cheeky madams in skimpy outfits to upstage her on.

And they don't come much cheekier than actress/model Jasmine Lennard.

Madge was attending hubby Guy Ritchie's Revolver film premiere - so by rights should have been the belle of the ball.

But her thunder was stolen.

Sure she's the Queen Of Pop, but her bland black boot and coat affair just wasn't enough to keep the photographers interested.

Then, as if by magic, in paraded Jasmine in what can only be described as a large piece of silk.

It would be a lie to call it a dress.

Ray of light for mockery
Madonna's excitement translates to material

By MIKE BELL -- Calgary Sun

Sometimes it's just too easy.

Sometimes the smallest of things can be a font of mockery, and can be used to fill several inches of column space by someone whose goal in life is to not only ruin Christmas but see St. Nick frog-marched out of the North Pole to become the cellmate of a large, hairy, extremely bitter perennial naughty list, lump-of-coaler.

For example, take this quote from Madonna in the press release for the singer/actress/author/porn model/senior's upcoming release Confessions On A Dance Floor: "I want people to jump out of their seats!"

Now, that's rather innocuous, don't you think? Obviously, Madonna is excited about her new album and thinks the kids will want to dance, dance, dance the night away when they hear it.

Most people would see that quote, say "Hmmm" and move on.

But those people are losers and quitters.

Let's take that quote again and give it the proper thought and attention and derision it deserves.

Madonna -- "I want people to jump out of their seats!"

Us -- "And head for the exits like the opening credits of Swept Away?"

Or, "But not out the window -- like your last CD American Life?"

Finally, "Oh, no, not you, dear -- we wouldn't want you to break a hip."

You see, and that's just three options open to those who are only nominally inspired, ragging on her craptacular acting, her bargain-bin last album, and her golden years -- and we didn't even broach her whorishness!

We can rectify that with another quote from not only the same press release, but the same paragraph!

Madonna -- "My record is about having a good time straight through and non-stop."

How about, "Oh, so we can describe it as something of a departure for you?"

Try, "Hopefully the judge will grant my motion to seal your record."

And finally, "No, your record is being a tramp!"

Zing! Do you see how easy it is?

Imagine the fun -- and lawsuits -- were any actual effort expended!

Oh, and by the way, Confessions On A Dance Floor is out Nov. 14.

There's nothing funny about that.

September 27, 2005

Entertainment Weekly have published a feature on the 10 Albums We Can't Wait To Hear, Madonna's new album Confessions On A Dancefloor is of course included:

Why is someone whose last album contained an embarrassing rap about a roomful of Pilates hotties on this list?

Easy: We know better than to underestimate Madonna's ability to craft dazzling pop. Her latest album trades folktronica for high-octane, hook-savvy dance music, as evidenced by the ABBA-sampling first single, 'Hung Up,' a throbbing blend of Giorgio Moroder, New Order, and fun-loving Ciccone youth.

From The Scotsman:

September 28, 2005

Madonna, Joan Collins, Jeremy Irons and Keanu Reeves have made it into a list of the most embarrassing sex scenes in film.

Empire magazine sifted through hundreds of movies to compile Hollywood's most excruciating attempts at putting sizzling sex on the big screen.

.... Madonna features in the 1993 film Body of Evidence, which is fourth in the list.

"It's meant to be the darker shadings of sexual experience taken to their outer limits. Instead, it's a sad, risible attempt to shock and titillate," says Empire.

» See Also:

» Worst sex scenes named and shamed

» Embarrassing movie sex scenes shamed - ITN

» Sex Scenes More Corny Than Horny- Glasgow Daily Record

» Movie sex fails to impress - The Sun, UK

September 29, 2005

» Madonna racks up £2,500 in parking fines - Daily Mail

by RICHARD SIMPSON, Daily Mail 08:23am 29th September 2005

It has become one of Madonna's best-rehearsed routines.

She rolls up in a chauffeurdriven car and disappears into a London gym for one of her twice-weekly sessions with a fitness specialist.

And then, while her driver waits on a yellow line, along comes a traffic warden to sign a parking ticket and slap it on the windscreen.

Astonishingly this has happened more than 50 times, incurring a minimum total of £2,500 in fines. But Madonna, who is worth an estimated £235million, obviously feels it is a price worth paying.

Wardens first noticed one of her cars - which alternate between a BMW 7-series, Audi A8 and Mercedes Maybach - waiting on the single yellow line in August last year.

That was when the 47-year-old first started visiting the basement studio run by fitness guru James D'Silva, to be strapped to a wooden apparatus nicknamed 'the rack' which is believed to create a leaner figure.

While she was fighting the flab, her driver soon found himself waging war with the wardens.

To avoid trouble, the star tried riding her mountain bike on the two-mile trip from her home to the gym, followed by two minders also on bikes.

But after her recent fall from a horse, in which she suffered several fractures, it was back to the car.

The driver has tried reasoning with the wardens and keeping the vehicle constantly moving backwards and forwards. Still the tickets keep coming.

"We have watched the wardens do it week in week out," said a neighbour.

"They wait in a park round the corner and suddenly appear. Madonna's driver has started getting really irate. He says to them, 'You know I can't move, you know what I'm here for, so if you're going to ticket me just get on with it and get out of here'."

The standard fine for a vehicle parked illegally on a single yellow in central London is £100.

If that is paid in 14 days, the fine is reduced to £50. After 28 days, a more costly enforcement process begins.

A spokesman for Westminster City Council said: "If our attendants are aware that a certain person is parking illegally regularly, they will be targeted. Whether that person is you, or I, or Madonna, they will get fined.

"By keeping the car moving, the driver is skating on very thin ice. The warden could easily argue that although he is moving, he is actually occupying the same space over a period of time."

» See Also:

» Madonna racks up parking fines - Monsters and Critics.com

» Madonna Runs up £2500 in Parking Fines - soFeminine.co.uk

October 5, 2005

Excerpts:

Has the queen of reinvention run out of ideas?

She revisits the '80s with her new disco-pop album, Confessions On A Dance Floor, to be released on 14 Nov. The Abba-sampling first single, Hung Up, goes on air on 17 Oct.

But disco-pop is not exactly a revolution, especially when Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has been there, done that just a few years ago.

Perhaps Madonna, 47, is trying to emulate the success of her 1998 multi-platinum album, Ray Of Light, which produced the dance hit song of the same title.

.... But Madonna's preoccupation with being an English housewife and a Kabbalah advocator might get in the way of her pop career - the Kabbalah-themed track Issac might turn some listeners off.

Madonna's horseback riding accident in August might also be a hurdle to her embarking on a money-spinning, physically demanding concert tour.

.... But Madonna could also be in danger of losing out to her younger peers.

She was dropped from the cover of Blender in favour of Ashlee Simpson for the magazine's December issue.

.... But she'll need one very good campaign if she wants to stay on the top of the game.

Her previous album, American Life, released in 2003, was a flop - it went platinum only once in the US.