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Know your limitations! That's the point I'm trying to make here, which
is why I can't tolerate one more minute of Mrs. Guy Ritchie —
aka Madonna — getting in front of a camera and trying to act.
But ladies and germs, she does not know how to MOV-IE. She just can't
as far as her acting — it's been bad since her first time out
of the gate. If you're so enthralled by her other talents that you
are blind to her lack of theatrical abilities, I urge you to take
a walk down celluloid way with me:
Desperately Seeking Susan
• Shanghai Surprise
• Who's That Girl?
• Dangerous Game
• Body of Evidence
not including A League of Their Own or Dick Tracy, because those were
decent films with ensemble casts. Their success wasn't sitting on
Madonna's shoulder. But, if you're still such a die-hard fan and think
I'm such a hard-nose, then go rent all of these and watch them back
don't attempt some kind of personal abuse (aka toothpicks in your
eyeballs, biting hunks out of your forearms), then you should stop
reading here because you're too far gone.
brings us to her latest — Swept Away.
husband, Snatch director Guy Ritchie, clearly loves Madonna blindly
because he allowed himself to go against the instinctual gift he has
for filmmaking and miscast her in a role that could've been pulled
off by just about anyone with talent.
Fierstein in drag would've had more believable on-screen chemistry
with co-star Adriano Giannini than did Madonna. Basically, if this
movie isn't her final attempt at film-career suicide, then I don't
know what will be (Evita was supposed to be the movie death of her).
Whatever Ritchie intended to do with this version of the film is all
but lost because Madonna is so overpoweringly awful that she would've
been less guilty had she shot this film to death with a rifle.
inimitable words of the Rolling Stones, "You can't always get
what you want." Although Madonna has lots of fans, the bottom
line is that the flick has grossed $375,000 on 196 screens. That's
roughly $1,900 a screen, or about 191 people per screen).
and Guy Ritchie have been accused of getting special treatment at
star couple, who are devout followers of the religion, reportedly
drink blessed water and wine from crystal glasses, while other members
of the sect have to make do with plastic cups and plates - even though
the event, held at the London Kabbalah Centre, cost $57 per person.
revealed to America's Star magazine: "While we waited in line
for water and a buffet of salmon, salad and hummus to be consumed
from plastic glasses and plates, Madonna sat at a table stacked with
wine bottles and blessed water.
and Guy drank from elegant crystal glasses.
Madonna has revealed why she got involved with the mystic Jewish faith.
claims the Kabbalah gave her a sense of happiness and self-worth,
which no amount of fame and fortune could bring her.
star, who goes by the Hebrew name Esther at Kabbalah meetings, explained
to Britain's The Times newspaper: "It was eight years ago.
won a Golden Globe for 'Evita', I was pregnant, I had fame, I had
fortune, everything that you would perceive a person would want in
I was saying to myself, 'Why am I here? Why am I inside this body?
What am I doing?' "I went to a class and there was a man who
looked like a rabbi and what he was saying was amazing.
teaches you that your true potential has nothing to do with selling
records or making money, but what you are doing to help and make the
world a better place."
singer CELINE DION is 'horrified' to discover she's related to Madonna
singer CELINE DION is 'horrified' by the discovery she's related to
pop queen MADONNA.
TROY DUNN uncovered the shocking link between the MATERIAL GIRL and
the FALLING INTO YOU star and was amused by their reactions.
"Madonna's people had no comment. And Celine's people were horrified."
banned from Band Aid III
Geldof has banned Madonna from Band Aid III, because she is American.
had apparently hoped to record 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' alongside
the likes of Noel Gallagher, Robbie Williams, Coldplay and The Darkness.
Ure, who wrote the song alongside Geldof, told The People, "As
Bob says, at the end of the day she's a Yank. We don't need her."
is expected to reach the Christmas number one spot.
[The] Guardian Unlimited
for me, I don't want the old Madonna or the "new" Madonna.
Only one credited her without hesitation. 'I saw how much she had
transformed because of Kabbalah,' he said, 'and I thought, well, if
it worked for her ...'
evening, when I had just reported for duty, another volunteer asked
me, 'Do you have your tickets yet?' 'Huh?' 'Your Madonna tickets!'
she exclaimed (referring to her recent Reinvention tour). 'If you
buy them from the Centre they are the best seats! And all the proceeds
go to the Spirituality for Kids programme!'
royalties from Madonna's children's books go to the same fund, which
helped purchase the former Atkins headquarters for the Kabbalah Grammar
School for Children. According to WABC, Madonna spent a total of $22
million on the school, which will open its doors in 2005 - but only
to pupils whose parents are both Kabbalists.
Jane has been fishing for religion since her teens; she's attended
Methodist, Catholic, Pentecostal and Jehovah's Witness services. She
says she likes the Kabbalah Centre best: the principles taught in
the classes are easy to apply, especially the notion that when you
help others you really help yourself.
disillusioned as to how my former idol is no longer the unabashedly
confident superwoman I so admired. Plenty of people are still following
her, but look what she's following.
once she gets the financial breakdown she requested and finds how
her money is being spent, she will reinvent herself as the wayward
Catholic iconoclast I loved.
and I spend the rest of the night drinking tea in a Chinese restaurant,
reading fortune cookies, and commiserating about how we missed Madonna
over steamed pork buns.
Laura Ingraham Rags On Madonna on Her
Flea Dip site owner, via radio show
radio show, host Laura Ingraham kept replaying Madonna's quotes about
God (from some television interview Madonna had given).
said something in this interview such as,
Kabbalah, we believe in a light force... it's whatever you call it...
could be 'God,' or maybe 'Buddah' or a light-emanating force..."
the times Ms. Ingraham played that line by Madonna, she interjected
her own comments (in bold face type here):
Kabbalah, we believe in a light force... it's whatever you call it...
could be 'God,' - or a chair - or maybe 'Buddah'
- how about a 'bowling ball?' -or a light-emanating
also made fun of Man-donna's phony accent, which she described as
being a cross between Valley Girl, Bronx, NY and British.
were encouraged to vote on who was more clueless / obnoxious about
their political views; it was between Madonna or Carole Simpson*.
Carole Simpson wound up getting most of the votes, but it was funny
hearing the callers who chose Madonna explain why they chose Madonna.
Simpson: Bush (2004) Win Means Public "Not Bright," Rush
correspondent Carole Simpson, who through 2003 served as the anchor
of World News Tonight on Sunday and who now travels the country for
ABC News to talk to high schoolers about how to consume news, lashed
out at how the election results reflect the triumph of the "stupid"
and how the red/blue maps match the slave versus free states....
Minogue Offends Madonna
superstar KYLIE MINOGUE has caused major offence to MADONNA by refusing
to even record a demo of a song specially written for her by the pop
and producer RICK NOWELLS, wrote ALONE AGAIN to be included on Kylie's
latest album, BODY LANGUAGE, but the diminutive Australian singer
did not even bother to record it.
insiders are shocked, especially since Kylie once observed, "I
don't think Madonna has ever given a song to another artist."
while the SLOW singer has rejected Madonna's offer, she is working
with several other showbiz names.
others, R+B sensation MS DYNAMITE appears on the track SECRET, which
she also co-wrote; and CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD writer CATHY DENNIS
has penned AFTER DARK. 09/11/2003 14:02
Simulated Sex Stage Antics Not For Lourdes
'I DON'T WANT LOURDES TO FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS
of pop MADONNA is desperate for daughter LOURDES not to follow in
her raunchy footsteps.
in her career, the MATERIAL GIRL made her name with saucy semi-naked
stage routines, simulated oral sex with a wine bottle in documentary
IN BED WITH MADONNA, and even published a book with steamy full-frontal
naked pictures of herself.
But, now she has found her spiritual side, the 46-year-old singer
is keen for eight-year-old Lourdes to find a more virtuous path through
a recent interview with CNN, host RICHARD QUEST asked, "If your
daughter Lourdes decided to prance around the stage in her underwear,
singing and hollering, would you approve?"
replied, "If she was an adult, there's, you know, not a lot I
could do about it. She would be free to make that choice."
responded, "Would you approve? If she behaved like you, if she
mirrored your life to some extent, as a mother, who's now essentially
found a spiritual way of life, would you approve?"
Madonna conceded, "Probably not.
Has Killed My Creativity Says Madonna / Madonna Wants to Have Third Baby
the New Kerala site:
Nov 28 : Pop icon Madonna says that she is so exhausted with handling
her kids and family life that she has no energy left to heed her creative
'Frozen' singer, who has two children Lourdes and Rocco and is married
to British director Guy Ritchie, said that although she would love
to have one more child, managing everything on her own has really
taken its toll.
old Madonna also revealed that she likes to play the ideal wife complete
with rubbing her husband's feet when he comes back home in the evening
and receiving him at the door.
also makes sure that she helps out with her children's homework everyday.
need to calm myself. I don't have a manager anymore, so now I'm my
own everything. Then I'm the person who stands at the door when my
husband comes home from work, waiting to rub his feet," The Mirror
quoted her as saying.
I'm the person who helps my kids with their homework and puts them
to bed. I'm exhausted. That's my problem now. I no longer have time
to be creative," she added. (ANI)
draining Madonna's creativity? - from South Florida.com
wants to have another baby - from New Kerala
wants to have another baby - from Web India
'I'll Wait and See About Baby No. 3'
10 most overrated stars: Who puts the ‘suck’ in ‘success’?
Wendell Wittler, MSNBC contributor
a challenging idea. To compile a list of the actors, singers, comics
and other show biz glitterati whose fame and fortunateness most outweighs
any actual talent they may actually have. And I'm not talking about
the latest one-hit-pop-lip-syncher or reality-show-evil-but-hunky-poser
but those who have built long, enduring careers out of nearly non-existent
[at number] 3. Madonna
Materialistic Girl: She's credited as "the first female pop star
with complete control over her image"; in other words, nobody
exploited her, she did it herself. Madonna's practice of constantly
redefining herself has kept her one step ahead of serious scrutiny.
And "Vogue" was one of the worst attempted dance crazes
of the 20th Century.
She was the first performer NOT to be harmed by the discovery of an
old sex movie, and a pioneer in concert lip-synching (no wonder she
kissed Britney Spears; they both needed to do something with their
mouths). A whole second generation of "pop tarts" following
in her footsteps prove that it wasn't that hard to do in the first
page was begun in December 2004, but every so often it is updated
with new information.)
NO LONGER HAVE TIME TO BE CREATIVE," whined the Queen of Pap,
Madonna, in a recent People Magazine interview. Boy is that the understatement
of the century. But they were fitting words uttered by a woman who
has been accused of and sued for plagiarizing many people's work.
I guess plagiarism is very tiring. My question is, was she ever creative?
There is a mountain of evidence that speaks to the contrary.
the "Material Girl" or the material thief, as in stealing
other singers' material.
the last year and a half, Madonna has engaged in a willful pattern
of plagiarism and copyright infringement by flagrantly stealing music,
lyrics, catch phrases and ideas unique to my music and web site, then
passed them off as her own, for her ill advised, poorly received "American
Life" album and other projects. My web site has been online since
2001, with over 4 million hits and during that time she has been a
frequent visitor…and plagiarizer.
[Madonna] has made herself into the stereotypical caricature of the
characterless, talentless, self-absorbed, egotistical singer people
joke about in films and skits. She is a real primadonna and one with
a serious anger problem.
nicknamed her horrible rip off of my song Contemporary Girl, "Contemporary
Hurl," as only Madonna can illegally and selfishly take someone
else's work and turn it into such garbage (i.e. her most recent plagiarism
lawsuits "Swept Away" and the "Hollywood" music
video). She continually does substandard versions of the work she
rips off. Whether she realizes it or not, she has found her niche…destroying
like a scum sucking leech draining the creative life out of other
people's work that she plagues like a nuisance, insinuating herself
into their lives without their consent and to the point that they
have to get a lawyer to remove that leech, lest it egotistically destroys
and desecrates every creative thing it touches.
then clumsily tries to reinterpret people's work to the point that
it just becomes a joke.
Jem is a rising star, but touring with her male band members may have
left her 'scarred for life
Jem is a rising star with an eccentric resume. She has a law degree.
She's a DJ. She used to run a small record label. And she recently
appeared as a wedding singer on an episode of "The O.C."
She also sang Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed" for the
picked up Jem's song "Nothing Fails" and recorded it for
her own "American Life" album. Madonna shares songwriting
credit on "Nothing Fails." Did Madonna change enough of
it to merit that credit?
can't ask questions like that! Somebody should, but there are some
things that are best left unsaid," Jem says -- but then she says,
yes, Madonna did co-write the song.
and husband GUY RITCHIE have won a battle to ban ramblers from walking
on land on their English rural estate over the winter - delaying any
access to February (05) at the earliest.
MATERIAL GIRL, who fears her privacy will be compromised by walkers
being near her mansion in Ashcombe, Wiltshire, has won the right to
declare her land a commercial shoot, thus temporarily exempting it
from the UK's 'right to roam' legislation.
for THE COUNTRYSIDE AGENCY says, "We have now agreed that the
land should remain closed for nearly six months a year so ramblers
don't disturb the pheasants and partridges and aren't put at risk
will review this to see if the claims about disturbance are justified
and we might change this ruling in later years."
the RAMBLERS' ASSOCIATION's chief executive NICK BARRETT says, "She
(Madonna) has won this victory through having lots of money for lawyers.
may have won for now but this legislation tilts the balance away from
centuries of domination by land-owning elitists like her."
often-criticised movie career has landed her a new title - as the
Worst Rock-Star Actor of All Time.
the Michigan native has enjoyed phenomenal success as a pop superstar,
Madonna's efforts on the silver screen have been met with an icy response
from both critics and fans - most recently with her embarrassing flop
CAST AWAY [I think they meant "Swept Away"].
magazine BLENDER, which conducted the poll of 25 stars, says, "Invariably
cast as an irresistible femme fatale - BREATHLESS MAHONEY in DICK
TRACY, SUSAN in DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN - yet cannot 'do' sexy.
she adopts the glassy-eyed expression of someone on a cocktail of
prescription drugs and delivers her lines as if reading aloud from
the letters of a stalker."
SPICE GIRLS landed in 19th place, MICK JAGGER at 17th, STING at 24th
and OZZY OSBOURNE at 21st.
top 10 is as follows:
named worst rock star actor - Female First
Names Worst Rock-Star Actors Of All Time
UK Yahoo Launch
book reveals Madonna's bad behaviour during rehearsals for the 1991
Oscars. She performed 'Sooner Or Later' from the film 'Dick Tracy'
at the ceremony. The song, written by Stephen Sondheim, won the Best
Music, Original Song award.
new book 'The Big Show: High Times and Dirty Dealings at the Academy
Awards' writer Steve Pond details the singer's attack on a technician.
man was supposed to supply her with a microphone before she appeared
on stage through a trap door but had fallen asleep.
claims she launched into 'an astonishing profane tirade despite the
fact that the area below the stage was also occupied by a group of
she grabbed him around the neck and lifted him bodily off the ground,
not relinquishing her grip until the trapdoor opened and she began
adds that when her performance was delayed due to a camera operator
being injured falling from the stage into the orchestra pit, Madonna
her as saying: 'But, she's just lying there. Can't we just do this?'
Big Show' is published in the UK on January 1.
the NY Post:
25, 2004 -- Prince will be able to buy himself a fleet of little red
Corvettes after crowning the list of the top 25 tours of 2004.
year's concert king raked in $87.4 million on his 69-city/96-date
Musicology tour, making it "by far the biggest tour he has ever
done," said Gary Bongiovanni, editor in chief of Pollstar, a
concert-industry trade publication that compiles the list each.
leads the pack by a margin of $7 million, beating out top musical
acts like Celine Dion, who came in second, earning $80.4 million during
a long string of shows at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas; and Madonna,
who came in third with $79.5 million from her "Re-Invention Tour."
isn't certain that today's acts will have the same longevity as older
ones. "I don't know if today's kids look at music the same way
the aging baby boomers do," he said. "We don't seem to be
developing long-term headliners and might see a shift to a more disposable
flavor of the moment. Acts might have a few successful stadium tours
and then we wont hear from them anymore."
factor for the sky-high record gate receipts could be the cost of
going to a show, which has a record average of $52 per ticket, up
3.5 percent from last year.
Detroit Free Press:
Friday, December 24, 2004
YORK -- Prince is the concert tour king.
in the No. 1 spot on Pollstar's Top 25 tours chart for 2004, grossing
69-city/96-show tour was "by far the biggest tour he has ever
done," Gary Bongiovanni, editor-in-chief of Pollstar, the concert
industry trade publication, told The Associated Press. "It's
kind of a renaissance for him."
Dion, who's been appearing at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas for a long
string of shows, was in second place, coming in at $80.4 million,
followed by Michigan native Madonna, $79.5 million; Metallica, $60.5
million; and Bette Midler, $59.4 million.
acts in the top 10: Van Halen, Kenny Chesney, Sting, Toby Keith and
Elton John. ...
IS NO PAUPER, from NY Post
leads concert cash league BBC News
is top concert earner for 2004 CBC Prince Edward Island
heads list of concert moneymakers - Seattle Post Intelligencer
heads list of concert moneymakers in 2004 DetNews.com, MI
leads 2004 concert moneymakers - CNN
heads list of concert moneymakers - USA Today