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Star's Fading Away
by Robbie Collin
Who's that girl?
Would you believe it's Madonna, looking frail and gaunt as she recovers
from her riding accident.
The fragile Queen
of Pop had to be helped from her car as she arrived for a Kabbalah
meeting in London yesterday.
shocked by her appearance as Madonna, 47, arrived at the sect's UK
HQ in Stratford Place.
One said: "She
looked so thin and listless -- like an old woman."
three ribs, broke a collarbone and fractured her hand falling off
a horse last month. Doctors ordered her to rest but last week she
shot an ad with Iggy Pop.
Sadly, it doesn't
look like Iggy's Lust For Life has rubbed off on Madge.
literally stole the show at the premiere of husband Guy Ritchie's
film, Revolver. Hundreds of fans lined up around the downtown Toronto
Roy Thompson Hall hoping to catch a glimpse of the material girl and
they were not disappointed.
.... The night
was filled with celebration, but the mood turned somber as Madonna
discussed the anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks in New
York City and Hurricane Katrina.
had another natural disaster that it's kind of making that look like
nothing in comparison. Well not nothing, but it's worse in a lot of
ways," Madonna says.
Too Old To Play Evita, Says Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lloyd Webber reckons pop legend Madonna is too old to resurrect her
role as Eva Peron in the musical 'Evita'.
the role in a 1996 Hollywood adaptation of the stage musical and rumours
had been circulating linking her with the part in Webber's new West
But Webber claims
the star looks to old to take the part and he wants somebody half
her age to take the role.
He said: "She's
not right for the part. We are looking for people in their twenties
for goodness sake."
Madonna is still
recovering from a number of injuries, including broken ribs, after
falling from a horse on her birthday.
Too Old To Play Evita -Virgin.net
deemed too old for new stage version of Evita - Monsters and Critics
SIR PAUL McCARTNEY
can't stand the music of MADONNA and ROBBIE WILLIAMS, despite respecting
the artists as nice people.
The former BEATLE
shared the stage with the MATERIAL GIRL and ex-TAKE THAT hunk at the
London Live 8 earlier this year (02JUL05).
song ANGELS was named Best Song of the past 25 years at February's
(05) Brit Awards, McCartney says, "I wasn't that convinced by
Angels winning the best song of the last 25 years.
for an ex-boy group person, he's done well. He makes pretty good records
for his audience. But I'm not a Robbie fan."
admitting he has met Madonna several times, McCartney's is far from
enamoured with her music, saying, "I've met her and she's a pretty
cool person, but her records have never really turned me on."
slams Robbie and Madonna - Newindpress, India, Sept. 20, 2005
Dumps Madonna in Favor of Ashlee Simpson
Rejected From Magazine Cover for Simpson?
Pop icon Madonna
has reportedly been ousted from a magazine cover by Ashlee Simpson.
The singer is
preparing to embark on a press tour for her upcoming album 'Confessions
on a Dancefloor', and sources say she was supposed to pose on the
cover of Blender magazine's December issue.
bosses have now dropped her in favor of Simpson.
A source says,
"Madonna was fuming. She never wanted to do Blender in the first
place; she wanted to do Rolling Stone. And then this put her over
While bosses at
the publication have refused to comment, Madonna's representative
says, "She's too busy healing from her (horse-riding) accident.
was talking to several publications, including Blender. Trust me;
you'll see plenty of Madonna in the weeks to come."
Season Falls for Madonna - Sify.com
Ousted from Mag Cover by Ashlee Simpson - Softpedia
Rejected From Magazine Cover for Ashlee Simpson? - Contact Music.com
dropped for Ashlee Simpson? - Digital Spy, Sept 24, 2005
The Bosh, excerpts:
LaChapelle and Pop Diva Madonna won't be teaming up on the video for
her single "Hung Up." The pair confirmed to us yesterday
that "artistic differences" AKA Diva antics killed the collaboration.
According to NY
daily news, LaChapelle "wanted to approach the video in a documentary
style, like he did in 'Rize,' Madonna didn't see it the same way."
"Madonna had to control every little thing," said one spy.
"She wanted to be shot so she looked very young."
dumps video director - Washington Times, Sept. 23, 2005
Booed at 'Revolver' Film Premiere
Madonna and Guy Ritchie booed - Digital Spy, UK
Madonna and Guy
Ritchie were booed for being antisocial at the premiere of Revolver.
The pair turned
up to the Leicester Square event but seemed to want little to do with
the 2,000-strong crowd who had hoped to shake hands and have autographs
signed. Meanwhile, the film's star Jason Stratham spent nearly an
hour talking to fans, reports BBC News.
this weekend, sees Stratham play a criminal who enters into a feud
with crime boss Ray Liotta. Unfortunately, it has left critics struggling
to find anything positive to say about it.
have been harsh all the way through my career but it doesn't affect
me," stated Ritchie at the premiere.
and Guy Ritchie were booed at the premiere of Ritchie's Film - Mirror.co.uk,
UK - Sep 21, 2005
Ritchie & Madonna Booed At Revolver Premiere - FemaleFirst.co.uk,
boos Madonna, Guy Ritchie - Webindia123
Boo Madonna, Husband At Movie Premiere - WPBF Channel.com
and Ritchie Booed at 'Revolver' Premiere - WXXA, NY
Guy Ritchie booed at London film premiere - NewKerala.com, India
Ritchie and Madonna shun fans at 'Revolver' premiere - Hollywood News,
boo Madonna and husband after snub - Kansas.com, KS
problem for Madonna - Virgin.net, UK
and Ritchie booed at premiere - RTE Interactive, Ireland
must be cursing the sling she's been forced to don since tumbling
off her horse.
It's left her
with little option on what to wear - opening the door for cheeky madams
in skimpy outfits to upstage her on.
And they don't
come much cheekier than actress/model Jasmine Lennard.
Madge was attending
hubby Guy Ritchie's Revolver film premiere - so by rights should have
been the belle of the ball.
But her thunder
Sure she's the
Queen Of Pop, but her bland black boot and coat affair just wasn't
enough to keep the photographers interested.
Then, as if by
magic, in paraded Jasmine in what can only be described as a large
piece of silk.
be a lie to call it a dress.
Ray of light for
Madonna's excitement translates to material
By MIKE BELL --
just too easy.
smallest of things can be a font of mockery, and can be used to fill
several inches of column space by someone whose goal in life is to
not only ruin Christmas but see St. Nick frog-marched out of the North
Pole to become the cellmate of a large, hairy, extremely bitter perennial
naughty list, lump-of-coaler.
For example, take
this quote from Madonna in the press release for the singer/actress/author/porn
model/senior's upcoming release Confessions On A Dance Floor: "I
want people to jump out of their seats!"
Now, that's rather
innocuous, don't you think? Obviously, Madonna is excited about her
new album and thinks the kids will want to dance, dance, dance the
night away when they hear it.
Most people would
see that quote, say "Hmmm" and move on.
But those people
are losers and quitters.
Let's take that
quote again and give it the proper thought and attention and derision
Madonna -- "I
want people to jump out of their seats!"
Us -- "And
head for the exits like the opening credits of Swept Away?"
not out the window -- like your last CD American Life?"
no, not you, dear -- we wouldn't want you to break a hip."
You see, and that's
just three options open to those who are only nominally inspired,
ragging on her craptacular acting, her bargain-bin last album, and
her golden years -- and we didn't even broach her whorishness!
We can rectify
that with another quote from not only the same press release, but
the same paragraph!
Madonna -- "My
record is about having a good time straight through and non-stop."
How about, "Oh,
so we can describe it as something of a departure for you?"
the judge will grant my motion to seal your record."
And finally, "No,
your record is being a tramp!"
Zing! Do you see
how easy it is?
Imagine the fun
-- and lawsuits -- were any actual effort expended!
Oh, and by the
way, Confessions On A Dance Floor is out Nov. 14.
funny about that.
Embarrassing Rap, from Entertainment Weekly, by way of fan site
Entertainment Weekly have published a feature on the
10 Albums We Can't Wait To Hear, Madonna's new album Confessions On
A Dancefloor is of course included:
Why is someone whose last album contained an embarrassing
rap about a roomful of Pilates hotties on this list?
We know better than to underestimate Madonna's ability to craft dazzling
pop. Her latest album trades folktronica for high-octane, hook-savvy
dance music, as evidenced by the ABBA-sampling first single, 'Hung
Up,' a throbbing blend of Giorgio Moroder, New Order, and fun-loving
embarrassing sex scenes in movies named
Collins, Jeremy Irons and Keanu Reeves have made it into a list of
the most embarrassing sex scenes in film.
sifted through hundreds of movies to compile Hollywood's most excruciating
attempts at putting sizzling sex on the big screen.
.... Madonna features
in the 1993 film Body of Evidence, which is fourth in the list.
to be the darker shadings of sexual experience taken to their outer
limits. Instead, it's a sad, risible attempt to shock and titillate,"
sex scenes named and shamed
movie sex scenes shamed - ITN
Scenes More Corny Than Horny- Glasgow Daily Record
sex fails to impress - The Sun, UK
Gets Parking Tickets in Britain
racks up £2,500 in parking fines - Daily Mail
SIMPSON, Daily Mail 08:23am 29th September 2005
become one of Madonna's best-rehearsed routines.
up in a chauffeurdriven car and disappears into a London gym for one
of her twice-weekly sessions with a fitness specialist.
while her driver waits on a yellow line, along comes a traffic warden
to sign a parking ticket and slap it on the windscreen.
this has happened more than 50 times, incurring a minimum total of
£2,500 in fines. But Madonna, who is worth an estimated £235million,
obviously feels it is a price worth paying.
first noticed one of her cars - which alternate between a BMW 7-series,
Audi A8 and Mercedes Maybach - waiting on the single yellow line in
August last year.
was when the 47-year-old first started visiting the basement studio
run by fitness guru James D'Silva, to be strapped to a wooden apparatus
nicknamed 'the rack' which is believed to create a leaner figure.
she was fighting the flab, her driver soon found himself waging war
with the wardens.
trouble, the star tried riding her mountain bike on the two-mile trip
from her home to the gym, followed by two minders also on bikes.
her recent fall from a horse, in which she suffered several fractures,
it was back to the car.
has tried reasoning with the wardens and keeping the vehicle constantly
moving backwards and forwards. Still the tickets keep coming.
have watched the wardens do it week in week out," said a neighbour.
wait in a park round the corner and suddenly appear. Madonna's driver
has started getting really irate. He says to them, 'You know I can't
move, you know what I'm here for, so if you're going to ticket me
just get on with it and get out of here'."
fine for a vehicle parked illegally on a single yellow in central
London is £100.
is paid in 14 days, the fine is reduced to £50. After 28 days,
a more costly enforcement process begins.
for Westminster City Council said: "If our attendants are aware
that a certain person is parking illegally regularly, they will be
targeted. Whether that person is you, or I, or Madonna, they will
keeping the car moving, the driver is skating on very thin ice. The
warden could easily argue that although he is moving, he is actually
occupying the same space over a period of time."
racks up parking fines - Monsters and Critics.com
Runs up £2500 in Parking Fines - soFeminine.co.uk
Has the queen of reinvention run out of ideas?
She revisits the '80s with her new disco-pop album,
Confessions On A Dance Floor, to be released on 14 Nov. The Abba-sampling
first single, Hung Up, goes on air on 17 Oct.
But disco-pop is not exactly a revolution, especially
when Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has been there, done that just
a few years ago.
Perhaps Madonna, 47, is trying to emulate the success
of her 1998 multi-platinum album, Ray Of Light, which produced the
dance hit song of the same title.
.... But Madonna's preoccupation with being an English
housewife and a Kabbalah advocator might get in the way of her pop
career - the Kabbalah-themed track Issac might turn some listeners
Madonna's horseback riding accident in August might
also be a hurdle to her embarking on a money-spinning, physically
demanding concert tour.
.... But Madonna could also be in danger of losing
out to her younger peers.
dropped from the cover of Blender in favour of Ashlee Simpson for
the magazine's December issue.
But she'll need one very good campaign if she wants to stay on the
top of the game.
album, American Life, released in 2003, was a flop - it went platinum
only once in the US.